An open letter to women who belittle women.

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I’m truly sick of having to interact with women who are nasty, competitive and downright NOT about the sisterhood, whether it be through work circumstances or friendship circles. We all know one (or many). They’re typically insecure and mask it through being perfectionists, enjoy making you look bad, ‘dobbing’ you in for things, and always appear switched on at the right moments. They’d do anything to climb the ladder, manipulate the truth to frame themselves in a good light, and pull you up on tiny (un-important) things, while you meanwhile bite your tongue because really – who cares whether a document is folded this way or that in the grand scheme of things? Who cares whether a sentence is written in bold, italics or CAPITAL LETTERS? Absolutely nobody cares. What matters is that you are a kind person, do your job with honesty and integrity, and look out for each other. What would Beyonce think of your petty attitude? She’d see through that fake smile in a heartbeat and smite you down, that’s what!

I’ve also been fortunate enough to meet some truly beautiful women in my working life, both inside and out. These are the ones who won’t tell the boss when you make a small mistake, who’ll have your back when you’re feeling upset, who’ll be there with you at the end of a long day to have a glass of wine and tell each other tomorrow will be better. These are the ones you’d be happy to catch up with outside of work, and who you genuinely care about. Thank God for these women! They lift you up on hard days, they understand when you’re not feeling up to it, and they make those long days slightly more bearable. We spend a lot of our lives at work, so we need a strong sisterhood to hold our heads above water.

I’ve worked in some incredibly strong teams, and some incredibly fractured teams. The fractures usually intensify in time, making for an unpleasant mixture of tension and baited breath, waiting for the storm to explode. I know what I prefer, and I’m not going to play stupid games with two-faced personality types. Life is way too short to spend it competing with each other. There are enough problems in the world so give it a break and think about what actually matters!

‘There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’

Madeleine K Albright. 

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Photo credits – popmyeyes & naydafernandez

On not giving a damn.

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How good is it when you finally reach that age where you just DON’T care about what other people think anymore? It’s like this huge weight off your shoulders, a time where you can go wherever you please, do whatever you want and not fret over what your friends and family might think. Staying in every Friday night to eat caramel from a tin and watch documentaries? Sure thing. Rocking up to work in joggers because it’s comfy? Hell yes. I’m personally loving this transition in my thinking patterns, and shaking my head at my former self.

Most of the time if you saw me out and about, I’d be there to avoid feeling guilty if I’d cancelled, or to keep a promise to a friend that I’d be their wing-woman. Nowadays if I don’t want to go out, I simply tell my friends straight up – and it’s TOTALLY fine. There’s no begging me to come or guilt tripping me. It’s fantastic! We’ve finally grown up and realised that everyone’s different, and maybe we’ll just go out for brunch tomorrow instead.

You know what else is great about growing up? Wearing bikinis to the pool with NO shorts to cover up your butt and thighs, and NOT giving a damn when you feel it all shaking. This is me and I’m a woman! Deal with it. On a similar level, navigating life in winter has become much easier now that I’ve accepted I will look like a pasty whale for a few months. We’re all in the same boat honey so pop your uggies on, make a hot chocolate and settle in for the night.

Not apologising for being yourself is a truly great place to be in life. Don’t get me wrong, I still need to work on a few areas before I can truly say I’m living life at my own pace. But I’m certainly on the right track, and there ain’t no better feeling than that!

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Photo credits – rachael_adkins & folksouls