Having just gotten into my first serious relationship – something I literally can’t stop grinning about, I can’t help but feel a little wary of losing my identity and interests amid the excitement of wanting to hang out with this person ALL the time. I’m sure everyone who has transitioned from single life into the dating phase and then ‘made it official’, has gone through similar concerns. You’ve suddenly gone from spending all your weekends with family (and having deep and meaningful sessions with your pets), to wondering what those other people in your life are up to because you’ve been so busy with this new person. So many places to see! So many cafes to try! I know…. I sound like an ungrateful brat. OF COURSE, I’m completely stoked to actually have someone to do things with (and snuggles are what life is made for)… all I’m saying is I don’t want to lose myself, which is apparently pretty easy to do.
I’ve seen it happen to friends and colleagues time and time again. They get a boyfriend or girlfriend, and suddenly they’re spending every second night together and then weekends too. It’s all they can talk about, they literally don’t care about anything else that’s going on in other peoples lives let alone the world, and they can’t go anywhere without bringing their new boo. It’s exhausting trying to have a conversation with someone in a new relationship, because no matter what the subject they will always find a way to relate it to their person of interest. And believe me, I GET IT. New relationships are insanely exciting – they’re a mixture of nerves, emotions, thrills, adventures and more. It’s a chance for you to relate to someone on a deeper level than your friends and family, and that human connection is something we all crave. I want someone to hold my hand when I’m scared or upset, to make me a coffee when I’m tired, and to surprise me with little gestures. I want to do the same in return for my special someone, but I also want to be the best version of myself for a healthy relationship to work – and that involves taking some me time.
So while I can’t wait to see my boyfriend again (it feels so weird saying that), I’m going to make sure that I’m also paying myself some respect by doing the things that I love to do. Going down to the beach for a coffee with my dog, reading a book and listening to my favourite music – these are the small things that keep us sane. Whatever your interests may be, remember that before you became part of a relationship – you were a living, breathing individual. You had thoughts, friends, family and dreams. Don’t let them go! Nothing in life is certain, and at the end of the day we’ve got to be strong for ourselves 🙂
Photo credits – rose_and_heart & visualambassadors