On losing yourself in a relationship…


Having just gotten into my first serious relationship – something I literally can’t stop grinning about, I can’t help but feel a little wary of losing my identity and interests amid the excitement of wanting to hang out with this person ALL the time. I’m sure everyone who has transitioned from single life into the dating phase and then ‘made it official’, has gone through similar concerns. You’ve suddenly gone from spending all your weekends with family (and having deep and meaningful sessions with your pets), to wondering what those other people in your life are up to because you’ve been so busy with this new person. So many places to see! So many cafes to try! I know…. I sound like an ungrateful brat. OF COURSE, I’m completely stoked to actually have someone to do things with (and snuggles are what life is made for)… all I’m saying is I don’t want to lose myself, which is apparently pretty easy to do.

I’ve seen it happen to friends and colleagues time and time again. They get a boyfriend or girlfriend, and suddenly they’re spending every second night together and then weekends too. It’s all they can talk about, they literally don’t care about anything else that’s going on in other peoples lives let alone the world, and they can’t go anywhere without bringing their new boo. It’s exhausting trying to have a conversation with someone in a new relationship, because no matter what the subject they will always find a way to relate it to their person of interest. And believe me, I GET IT. New relationships are insanely exciting –  they’re a mixture of nerves, emotions, thrills, adventures and more. It’s a chance for you to relate to someone on a deeper level than your friends and family, and that human connection is something we all crave. I want someone to hold my hand when I’m scared or upset, to make me a coffee when I’m tired, and to surprise me with little gestures. I want to do the same in return for my special someone, but I also want to be the best version of myself for a healthy relationship to work – and that involves taking some me time.

So while I can’t wait to see my boyfriend again (it feels so weird saying that), I’m going to make sure that I’m also paying myself some respect by doing the things that I love to do. Going down to the beach for a coffee with my dog, reading a book and listening to my favourite music – these are the small things that keep us sane. Whatever your interests may be, remember that before you became part of a relationship – you were a living, breathing individual. You had thoughts, friends, family and dreams. Don’t let them go! Nothing in life is certain, and at the end of the day we’ve got to be strong for ourselves  🙂


Photo credits – rose_and_heart & visualambassadors

California dreamin’


Oh LA LA Land. You crazy, alluring, soul-destroying bunny you.

I recently had the pleasure of travelling California (and Vegas) by myself for 3 weeks, which was eye-opening to say the least. I didn’t plan to go alone – my friend had to pull out at the last minute due to personal reasons, so I decided to don my solo travelling boots and hit the West Coast. I had ideas of what my travels might entail – the beach, hostels, new friends and cocktails. Little did I know what a BIG place Los Angeles is! I felt like a tiny, naive ant in this sprawling Californian city where dreams come to die (unless you’re rich and famous).

My first 2 nights were spent near Hollywood Boulevard – a hot mess of people from all walks of life mixed in with the smell of tacos, nachos and hot sauce. I did Santa Monica, Universal Studios and Sunset Blvd like a typical tourist, before heading North to the idyllic town of Santa Barbara. What a refreshing change from the chaos of LA! No sirens and police helicopters here, I spent the days wandering beautiful Spanish-inspired streets and embracing the summer sun. I even found a fantastic Thai restaurant! Savouring the familiar flavours of a Panang Curry, I felt a sense of relief and gratitude. I couldn’t eat another burrito if you paid me!

Next on my list was the stunning bay of San Francisco, which I absolutely loved. Up and down hills filled with boutique restaurants, shops and a cultural melting pot, the cold wind did little to deter my spirits. I was challenged by my first hostel experience – having never shared a room with complete strangers it’s accurate to say I didn’t get much sleep. I did however embrace the free walking tour of the city with my fellow hostel-dwellers, and had a blast trying clam chowder on the marina. Of particular enjoyment was my day in Yosemite National Park, seeing the wonder of El Capitan and watching free climbers ascend to the top – simply amazing.

The hot desert beckoned me towards Vegas next, with a bus breakdown on the way to give me a taste of the rising heat. And holy hell was it hot! The only thing hotter was my experience at the Jennifer Lopez concert. Man could she shake it! Seeing Cirque du Soleil was another tick off the bucket list, an incredible performance of stamina, athleticism and beauty. The last destination on my list was the cruisy city of San Diego, where I spent evenings wandering along the ocean and listening to local music.

I had a fantastic time overall, and while I would have liked to have a friend with me on the journey I’m proud of myself for having the courage to go alone. The trip gave me an appreciation of how incredibly lucky we are in Australia, with education, health care and government to our spacious land trumping everything I saw in America. They don’t call us the lucky country for nothing!


Photo credits – twbloves & lgusamobile